I got into a relationship with two guys and I got pregnant.
Between the two guys, the other thought it was his, but it wasn’t and the other was denying responsibility, but he was the father.
The other guy who thought he was responsible for the pregnancy bought everything that was needed for the baby and has been there for us.
I did not confess that he was not responsible, but now I am stuck between the truth and lies.
The real father of the baby is back now and wants to reconcile with me.
I am now confused.
I don’t know what I should tell the other guy.
I don’t know where to start after what he did for me.
I don’t know how to tell him that the baby is not his.
Please help me.
Tete Joyie says:
I am sorry to hear that you are in a difficult situation.
It is important to be honest with both men involved, but it is understandable that you may be feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to proceed.
You may want to consider seeking the advice of a professional counsellor or therapist to help you navigate this situation.
They can provide you with guidance and support as you work through your feelings and decide how to move forward.
In the meantime, here are some resources that may be helpful.
DNA service providers can help you identify the father of your baby because from what you are saying, there is no certainty on who the father is.
Remember that honesty is the best policy, and it is important to prioritise the well-being of yourself and your child. I hope this helps.
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Live-in boyfriend giving me a headache
Dear Tete Joyie:
I have been in a relationship for two years with the man I am staying with.
He has three kids from his previous relationship and I also have three children from my previous marriage.
In this relationship, we don’t have a child yet.
Unfortunately, when we have conflicts, he calls his ex and even went to see her in Bulawayo.
We stay in Marondera.
When he came back from Bulawayo, I asked him where he had been and he tried lying to me.
After we sat down and talked about it, he eventually admitted.
Now the ex-wife has been sending him messages saying she is tired of waiting for him and he should come back to her.
I told him to pack his stuff and leave since I am staying with him at my house, but he refused, saying he wants to be with me.
He never treats me well and we hardly talk lovingly or laugh together.
I now despise him because he lies too much.
I am now not sure if he loves me or he is just looking for somewhere to stay rent free.
Tete Joyie says:
I am sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time in your relationship.
It sounds like you are feeling hurt and confused about your partner’s behaviour.
While I can’t tell you whether or not your partner loves you, there are some signs that may indicate that he does.
According to *Healthline*, some signs that someone loves you include:
They make an effort to spend time with you.
They listen to you and show interest in your life.
They respect your boundaries and opinions.
They are honest and open with you.
They support you and encourage you to pursue your goals.
On the other hand, some signs that someone may not love you include:
They lie to you or keep secrets from you.
They don’t prioritise spending time with you.
They don’t respect your boundaries or opinions.
They don’t support you or encourage you to pursue your goals.
It is important to remember that every relationship is different, and what works for one couple may not work for another.
If you are feeling unsure about your relationship, it may be helpful to talk to a professional counsellor or therapist.
They can provide you with guidance and support as you navigate your feelings and decide how to move forward.
Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness in your relationship.
I hope this helps.
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