A growing number of young Zimbabweans — especially Gen Z couples who married early — are staying in their marriages only on paper, long after they’ve emotionally exited them. They live together, raise kids together, share bills together… but their hearts, dreams and daily lives have quietly drifted apart.
Relationship counsellors say this new trend, often called a “quiet divorce”, is becoming common among couples in their 20s and early 30s who feel trapped by cultural expectations, economic pressures and fear of shame — but no longer feel connected to their partners.
To understand the phenomenon, ZiMetro News spoke to several young Zimbabweans who agreed to share their experiences under pseudonyms.
‘We are married, but we live like strangers’ — Tariro (27), Chitungwiza
Tariro married her university sweetheart at 22. They now have a three-year-old son, but somewhere along the way, things fell apart emotionally.
“He stopped communicating,” she says. “Everything became routine — work, home, sleep. If I tried to ask what was wrong, it ended in an argument. So I just stopped trying.”
She says she hasn’t shared a meaningful conversation with her husband in over a year.
“We’re together, but we’re not together,” she says. “I put my energy into my friends now. They’re the ones who actually see me.”
‘Intimacy died long ago’ — Batsi (25), Harare
For Batsi, the turning point was the disappearance of affection.
“My husband hasn’t touched me in any romantic way for almost two years. We sleep in the same bed, but it feels like there’s a wall between us.”
She believes the emotional distance started when he lost his job and fell into depression.
“I tried everything — dates, talking, praying — but eventually I accepted that I can’t force love to resurrect itself.”
She stays mainly because they have a mortgage together.
“Leaving would financially destroy us,” she admits.
‘We’re basically co-parents’ — Nqobile (29), Bulawayo
For Nqobile, early marriage was influenced by church pressure and family expectations.
“We were that ‘perfect young couple’ everyone admired,” she says. “But behind closed doors, we were just managing a household.”
Arguments about careers, responsibilities, and finances slowly eroded any sense of partnership.
“Now we run the house like a business,” she says. “He does his part; I do mine. No affection. No emotional sharing. Just parenting.”
She says at least 40% of her friends are in similar “zombie marriages.”
Why Gen Z is ‘quiet quitting’ their marriages
Counsellors say three major factors stand out:
1. Financial constraints
Rent, bridal debt, lobola expectations and children make separation seem impossible.
2. Fear of judgment
Young couples dread being labelled failures after highly publicised weddings.
3. Emotional burnout
Many entered marriages without emotional readiness, hoping love would mature with time.
The silent survival strategy
Instead of breaking up, many quietly shift their energy elsewhere:
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more nights out with friends
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solo trips
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focusing on careers
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therapy without their partners
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online communities for emotional support
Gen Z’s version of marriage survival is no longer about holding hands — it’s about holding your own sanity together.
‘I’m living my own life now’ — Tariro
Tariro says she no longer tries to “fix” anything.
“I realised it’s not my job to drag someone into loving me. Now I live as if I’m single emotionally, just not legally.”
She isn’t sure whether she’ll eventually leave.
“Divorce feels like an earthquake. So I’m just seeing how far this quiet quitting will take me.”
Can a quiet divorce ever work long-term?
Psychotherapist Rutendo tells ZiMetro News that the arrangement often leads to:
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resentment
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emotional isolation
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parallel lives
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secret relationships
But she also says it can be “a temporary coping mechanism” before real decisions are made.
“If the household atmosphere becomes icy, especially with children involved, separation may actually be the healthier option,” she says.
Warning signs a partner has quietly quit
Mupfumira lists the common markers:
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no tenderness or intimacy
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separate sleeping spaces
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lack of shared social life
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indifference to each other’s wins or worries
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communication replaced by silence or small talk
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keeping score of who contributes more
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functioning only as co-parents or roommates
Is there hope?
“Yes,” Mupfumira says. “Quiet quitting is not always terminal. Couples therapy can thaw emotional distance if both partners still care.”
She advises couples to:
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take time to reflect calmly
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communicate feelings without blame
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ask open, gentle questions
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rebuild small emotional habits
But she warns that if only one partner is trying, the marriage may already be spiritually over.
The new marriage reality for Gen Z
As economic pressures rise and emotional expectations evolve, a growing number of Zimbabwe’s young couples are choosing silence over separation — staying married for stability while quietly reclaiming their individuality.
Whether these marriages survive or dissolve, one thing is clear: Gen Z is rewriting the rules of what it means to stay together — even when love has already packed its bags.
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